a Broken Jar

So here goes one last letter now
 One last attempt to make sense
 Who have I been writing to?
 I'm not sure anymore
 What have I been trying to accomplish?
 It's a mystery, I guess, self-made secrecy
 Things get cloudy and now
 All these stories and the struggle as an undercurrent
 Both get blurry by the minute both get blurrier
 So, which voice is this then that I've been writing in?
 Is it my own or his?
 Has there ever been a difference between them at all?
 I don't know
 I don't know
 ♪
 One last desperate plea
 One last verse to sing
 One last laugh track to accompany the comedy
 Have I been losing it completely, losing sanity, or
 Has it been fabricated, fashioned by the worst of me?
 I know I knocked the table over because
 I watched the jar break and I've been
 Trying to repair it every single stupid day
 But won't the cracks still show
 No matter how well it's assembled
 Can I ever just decide
 To let it die
 And let you go?
 All my motives and every single narrative below reflects
 That moment when it broke
 And will I never let it go, no matter what
 Now I am throwing all the shards away
 Discarding every fragment
 And fumbling uncertain towards a
 Curtain call that no one wants to happen
 That no ones going to clap for at all
 But that still has to be