Dying to See

Let me tell you what you need to hear
 'Cause I need you close, I need you near
 This really isn't the life for me
 And I'm sorry I couldn't be everything I tried to be
 I'll never reach the potential of what I could likely be
 And if someone's holding me back, then it's likely me
 Or it's something inside of me
 You call it a demon, I call it anxiety
 But it's a part of me, it's in charge of me
 Taking up real estate in my head, but it's still charging me
 I'm the point guard, but it's still charging me
 DM's from teens cutting arteries, a picture of depression for artistry
 Why the black heart emoji? It's the art in me
 I hate these voices, don't start with me
 I hate it here, but it's hard to leave
 Let me tell you what you need to hear
 'Cause I need you close, I need you near
 Mental health isn't visible, it's hard to see
 I'm invisible to you, so pardon me
 And they say Jesus pardoned me
 Then why are these black clouds darkening?
 And why do people listen to puddle deep content? Must be the marketing
 And why are these arrows coming at me? Must be the mark on me
 I'm a target now, I find it hard to breathe
 It's hard to catch fresh air when the devil won't leave
 Especially when he starts telling you he's got everything you need
 I used to listen to your lies when you came for me
 But you're dead to me, man, you died to me
 I'm sorry I couldn't be the Christian I tried to be
 But everything changed when the Spirit of God got inside of me
 God's Son, He's alive in me
 So I'mma live for You since You died for me
 And if I die tomorrow and pass too early, shout out to every person who'll cry for me
 Just know I'm past the pearlies 'cause the Spirit of God lives inside of me
 Trying to come up for breath 'cause I'm dying to breathe
 What comes after death, man? I'm dying to see