Cheer up It Might Never Happen

Cheer up, it might never happen
 Drive by shootings on the streets of Clapham
 Jackboots booting right across the map
 And daddy's gone 'a looting
 with his pistol packin' mama
 And God didn't make the little green apples
 With the Halloween grin and the shaving tackle
 Another worrying thing for the grans to grapple
 As the earth quakes, shakes and rolls and rattles on
 And if the whole world is a stage
 A kaleidoscope of lights and sound
 You can take my Equity card away
 And burn the theatre to the ground
 Cheer up, it might never happen kid
 Although I think it probably just did
 The Christmas speech was a porno vid
 A topless picture on the British quid
 Jack and Jill went off the cliff
 Contract killed in a lovers' tiff
 While Ben and Bill smoke a comic spliff
 Tom and Jerry built to a moronic riff
 And if the whole world is a stage
 A kaleidoscope of lights and sound
 You can take my Equity card away
 And burn the theatre to the ground
 Sack the actors send the clowns
 Back to practice paper rounds
 Sweeping leaves and walking dogs
 Daily deeds and bob a jobs
 Sitting babies, salting snow
 Helping ladies cross the road
 Washing cars, recycling tins
 Catching falling stars and things
 Helping old folk, corner shop
 Little things that mean a lot
 A fairytale-like end to violence
 Through jumble sales
 and sponsored silence
 Stop the world I wanna get back on
 I want to learn to love the bomo
 And have it tattooed across my gut
 The immortal words cheer up
 It might never happen to you kid
 Although I think
 it probably
 just did