Me

You've been dreaming, just one dream
 Nearly all your life
 Hoping, scheming, just one theme:
 Will you be a wife?
 Will you be some he-man's property?
 Good news! That he-man's me!
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 This equation, girl plus man
 Doesn't help just you
 On occasion, women can
 Have their uses too
 Mainly to extend the fam'ly tree
 Pumpkin, extend with me!
 We'll be raising sons galore
 Inconceivable!
 Each built six foot four!
 Unbelievable!
 Each stuffed with ev'ry Gaston gene!
 I'm not hearing this!
 You'll be keeping house with pride!
 Just incredible!
 Oh so gratified
 So unweddable!
 That you are a part of this idyllic scene.
 Picture this: A rustic hunting lodge,
 My latest kill roasting over the fire,
 My little wife massaging my feet, while
 The little ones play on the floor with the dogs.
 We'll have six or seven!
 Dogs?
 No, Belle! Strapping boys... like me!
 Imagine that!
 I can see that we will share
 All that love implies
 We shall be a perfect pair
 Rather like my thighs
 You are face to face with destiny!
 All roads lead to...
 The best things in life are...
 All's well that ends with me!
 Escape me? There's no way
 Certain as "Do, Re,"
 Belle, when you marry...
 So Belle, what would it be?
 Is it "yes", or is it "oh, yes"?
 I... I just don't deserve you!
 Who does?
 Me