Uncool As Me

I'm quite the sped, I never shred
 Not cool
 (Not cool)
 But my bros all call me Itch
 (With the silent B)
 But that spells Bitch
 (Fits you perfectly)
 Chaz Bono dickbag, word fuck tick, not cool
 (Not cool)
 And I smell like regret and tequila
 (What's that even mean?)
 I have no idea
 (You're livin' the dream)
 Hey you, you dance like those assholes I see
 in old Molly Ringwald movies
 I think you're as uncool as me
 Hey you, you dance like those assholes I see
 in old Molly Ringwald movies
 I think you're as uncool as me
 And I dance!
 They don't think you're all that cool
 they like you for your step-dad's pool
 They don't think you're all that cool
 but your vampire fiction rules
 I'm such a tit, I say dumb shit
 Not cool
 (Not cool)
 And my friends think that I like men
 (That's because you do)
 Don't even listen to them
 (No one's judging you)
 John Goodman gut, slow kid haircut
 Not cool
 (Not cool)
 Do you like Renaissance fairs?
 (Where'd you get that scarf?)
 Tis what thy lord doth wear
 (I'll be in the car)
 Hey you, you dance like those assholes I see
 in old Molly Ringwald movies
 I think you're as uncool as me
 Hey you, you dance like those assholes I see
 in old Molly Ringwald movies
 I think you're as uncool as me
 And I dance!
 They don't think you're all that cool
 they like you for your step-dad's pool
 They don't think you're all that cool
 but your vampire fiction rules
 Dancin' with myself, in the dark, on the ceiling
 Dancin' with myself, in the dark, on the ceiling
 And I dance!
 They don't think you're all that cool
 they like you for your step-dad's pool.
 They don't think you're all that cool
 but your vampire fiction rules
 Let's go to Civil War reenactments
 Throw some back and yell "too soon!" at them
 Let's go to Civil War reenactments
 Warning, spoiler alert!