Who Would've Thought?

Who would've thought
 This subhuman sublet
 With an ego the size
 Of the national debt
 Would live up to his hype
 But he isn't my type
 Who would've thought
 I'd subdue and disarm
 Her disdain and contempt
 With the force of my charm
 She'd resist if she could
 I must really be good
 Why didn't I see it coming?
 Why didn't I have a clue?
 I suddenly fell like humming
 And I must put a stop to this soon
 I can feel that she's changing her tune
 Who would believe
 I'm enough of a fool
 To be taking the plunge
 After draining the pool
 We could learn to be friends
 But that's right where it ends
 All that I know
 Is that just down the hall
 In the very next room
 Through this paper-thin wall
 There's a creature I hated
 I can't wait to wake up and see
 Who would have thought that
 This nightmare
 This wonderful blunder
 Could happen to me
 Who would have thought?
 Who would have thought it
 Would take them so long
 I was sure of last week
 And last weekend was wrong
 This is totally cool
 That's cause you won the pool
 When do you think
 They will cut to the chase
 Well, his odds have improved
 Since he got to first base
 And he's coming on strong
 So it shouldn't be long
 This couldn't be more outstanding
 We hang on their every move (We hang on their every move)
 It's very much like "Knots Landing"
 Will he charm her right into his palm?
 If he doesn't she isn't my mom
 What happens next
 Could be anyone's call
 We're depending on you
 With your ear to the wall
 To turn into a spy, to be one of those sly little elves
 Till we're grown, on our own, and are prone to find
 Romance
 Ourselves
 Who would've thought?
 Who would've thought?
 Who would've thought?