Too Good to Be Bad / 2 Good 2 B Bad

Your sainted mother said to stay away from us
 That she looked down on us is no surprise
 Your father couldn't spend a day away from us
 I still recall the hunger in his eyes
 Your doctor and your dentist suggest that you
 Ignore us
 They abhor us
 So they tell you slanderous lies
 But don't listen to them
 Listen to us
 I'm sweets
 I'm fats
 I'm fries
 Say so long to self control
 We've a need to feed your soul
 How could we possibly hurt you
 We're in every snack and dessert you have had
 Honest, sugar
 We're too good to be bad
 We're so lonesome on the shelf
 Take us down
 Indulge yourself
 We'd like to show you our favors
 And more than a few of the flavors you crave
 Face it, pork rind-
 You're too weak to behave
 Let your appetite run riot
 You know you want us--don't deny it
 It's up to you to do or diet
 And everything is better when you deep fat fry it
 Life with us is short and sweet
 We're worth our weight in cellulite
 Health food's for neurotics
 And macrobiotic's a fad
 The FDA requires us to state this warning
 The odds are great that you will hate yourself
 In the morning
 But eat your heart out
 We're too good to be bad
 As a dancing French fry
 Your mom's a pretty hot tomato
 But get up off that sofa girl
 Before you turn into a couch potato
 Put down that remote control
 Hit those books-no rock and roll
 Real life is nothing like Cosby
 So move it or else Mrs. Crosby gets mad
 Do your homework
 You're too good to be bad
 You have had too much TV
 Your mom's not half as strict as me
 I know your arm may need twisting
 But don't even think of resisting a tad
 It's a school night
 You're too good to be bad
 Drop that phone and don't you start yakkin'
 I wanna hear those books start crackin'
 A genie granted me three wishes
 Get to your math and history then do the dishes
 Please, don't make me turn to force
 You are left with no recourse
 Land in the slammer or end up a grammar school grad
 You're really awfully hap'nin' for an Anglo-Saxon
 So take a tip from Mrs. C and Michael Jackson
 Just don't dis me
 You are so good that you're bad
 You are so good that you're bad!