Where Did We Go Wrong

Morticia: She's perky
 Gomez: She's bubbly!
 M: She's optimistic.
 G: Where did we go wrong?
 M: We taught her to hunt
 G: We taught her to aim
 M: We gave her a bow
 G: We gave her no shame.
 M: We gave what we had
 G: Made sure she was bad
 Both: Did all that we could to keep her sad
 G: We told her to stay away from all that jazz
 M: We gave her that week long trip to Alcatraz
 G: We promised she'd be equipped
 Both: And filled her crypt with woe
 What did we know?
 G: We took her to field rows in the morning mist
 M: We took her to slaughter houses
 G: Shindler's list
 M: We taught her to scowl and sneer and domineer
 G: and cure!
 Both: So... What did we do? Where did we go wrong?
 G: Are we good parents?
 Both: Where did we go wrong?
 M: Are we cliche?
 Both: Somewhere in between, guilt and guillotine, we forgot to notice that our daughter lost her way!
 Where did we go wrong?
 M: And can we fix this?
 G: Maybe it's a passing phase
 Both: But if she's going wrong, then what will change her ways?
 G: That's it! We cancel the dinner, bolt the doors!
 M: We'll circle the wagons.
 G: And give these "goodylicious" Beinekes the boot!
 M: We must intervene
 G: We shouldn't delay
 M: She's barely eighteen!
 G: So what do we say?
 M: We know the occult!
 G: That's certainly true.
 M: We're here to consult.
 G: Morticia, with you!
 M: So why all the fuss?
 G: My darling, discuss!
 M: She needs only us!
 G: It's us, only us!
 M: We've always been there for her, to swear for her
 G: Discourage them to care for her.
 Both: Do well for her excel for her make all the living Hell for her!
 So "where did we go wrong" is not the question!
 Resolute and strong is our next move.
 G: We'll tell her today
 M: Do what we say
 Both: Send all the Beinekes back to the fray!
 Turn them away at first sight.
 And that's where we'll go right!
 No dinner tonight.