Up on Santa's Lap

Whaddaya say, kid?
 Don't got all day, kid
 End of my shift
 Just tell me the gift that you really want this year
 Whisper it in my ear
 All kinds of toys, kid
 I want a Shirley Temple doll
 That's not for boys, kid
 Please, Santa?
 Live and let live
 Since when do I give a crap?
 Down you go!
 Up on Santa's lap
 Little Nancy wants a new toy train
 Little Nancy's driving me insane
 Ain't that a lovely Christmas mob?
 I hate my job!
 Hey, up on Santa's lap
 Higbee's gotta pay me overtime
 For the little freaks who come to climb
 On Santa's lap
 I like Santa!
 Ew! He's a wet one
 Get him off of me and get me a towel!
 What will I tell him?
 Can't wait to smell him!
 What is he like?
 I want a new bike
 But how should I ask for it?
 Could you move up a bit?
 What is he thinking?
 What is he drinking? (Merry Christmas!)
 Who knows what he might
 Pull out of that bright
 Red cap?
 Up on Santa's lap
 He can make a Christmas dream come true
 Which is something that I rarely do - ho, ho
 On Santa's lap
 Next!
 See the beastly brats before us
 Stretching miles through the aisles of the store
 Please, Santa, don't ignore us now
 Who cares if they're stuck in line?
 There's no way I'll stay past nine
 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho, ho!
 Finally
 After two eons and 59 minutes
 The Parker boys were next in line to climb Mount Olympus
 Up on Santa's lap
 Listen, Santa's got a lot to do
 Santa's not about to wait for you
 Up on Santa's lap
 What's your name, little boy?
 Hurry up, kid
 Nearly nine!
 Store's closing!
 What do you want for Christmas?
 Come on, kid!
 My mind had gone blank
 I was blowing it - blowing it! (Come on!)
 How about a nice new toy?
 No, no!
 I want an official Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle!
 You'll shoot your eye out, kid!
 Up on Santa's lap
 Sorry, kid, that's all the time we've got
 'Cause you only ever get one shot
 On Santa's lap (on Santa's lap)
 On Santa's lap, ho ho ho ho!