Cut The Cake

CUT THE CAKE
 When I heard the news
 I nearly lost my breath
 My heart stopped
 And I held my chest
 How could it be true, how could it
 be true?
 I bought ten copies of the paper
 Tried to buy them all
 But they wouldn't let me
 How could it be true, how could it
 be true?
 Cut out the clip
 And wallpapered my wall
 I took it to work
 To make copies so I could paper the
 whole house
 How could it be true, how could it
 be true?
 I scanned it too
 So I could show it to my out-of-town
 friends
 I wrote a letter to the editor
 To give praise and a mention
 To the names they forgot
 And the answers they didn't question
 And those answers they didn't question
 So what's one to do
 With all this fame and glory
 Hire a PR firm
 To tell the rest of the story
 How could it be true, how could it
 be true?
 Write it down quick
 So I can make the 4 o'clock news
 I know it's only local
 But if it's what they choose
 We'll celebrate over dinner,
 Maybe dancing too
 How could it be true, how could it
 be true?
 Who cut the cake?
 Without any warning
 Who cut the cake?
 With my special knife
 Into tiny little pieces for every fella's wife