Chris Michaels

Later at lunch with the taco lettuce crunch crunch
 She sets herself apart the bunch.
 How bad does she seem?
 She makes me wanna scream.
 On the phone with the West Glen Ellen rest home
 Talking up a tattle tome:
 How bad does she seem?
 She makes me wanna scream.
 My mom is gonna babysit tonight;
 Did you hear Melinda got into a fight;
 You whore you bitch she said, well then it serves her right.
 Talking all mad you know she really isn't being sad:
 Her baby daddy's name is Tad.
 How bad does she seem?
 She makes me wanna scream.
 Well yesterday you know she didn't none of that to say:
 She queen-bee turned and walked away.
 How bad does she seem?
 She makes me wanna scream.
 Then boyfriend calls her up on the other line;
 She tells him sweetie sweetie sweetie mine, but he spaces out and thinks to himself all the time:
 My baby's got a stick stuck out her beak,
 My baby takes a drink out of the leak,
 My baby's got a blue-green sweater,
 And a nest down by the creek.
 Plume bloom bloom blaby bloom
 Cheep cheep beep bee-bee beep.
 Where did you for lunchtime go?
 Did Kevin and Jenny show?
 Do you wanna go out tonight?
 No.
 Plume bloom bloom blaby bloom
 Cheep cheep beep bee-bee beep.
 Remember that girl down the end?
 She was my friend.
 But just now she's angry came up
 And said You're so so stup'
 It's all disrup'
 You're blah blah this this that so now sh'up
 You messed it up.
 Remember that girlfriend of Al's?
 We'll we were pals.
 Today she was angry came up
 And said You're so so stup'
 It's all disrup'
 You're blah blah this this that so now sh'up
 You messed me up.
 Then Tony of the Franklin Park hockey club
 Went to Gunzo's and bought a goalie glove.
 Jessica was 'posed to meet him back on Mannheim
 Kitchen back door by all the grease and grime:
 Was a little bird at my back door
 Said your true love's let you down
 Was a little bird at my window
 Said that he's been running round;
 He's working up the courage so to leave you;
 He's getting ready to say he doesn't love you.
 Well Tony took it all in stride
 Said don't be silly but wondered who had spied.
 Jessica was driving down Wolf Road
 Roll up the windows baby talk in code.
 I'm the little bird at your back door
 Said your true love's let you down.
 I'm the little bird through your chimney
 Said he's been running round;
 He's working up the courage so to leave you;
 He's getting ready to say he don't love you.
 Then she bumped into purses stole a credit card;
 Writing Chris Michaels, no it wasn't hard.
 Number five terminal with a yogurt cup,
 Reading a young miss as she slurps it up;
 Nasty message when he don't pick up.
 Layover Aden watch the local news;
 99 and humid Oh the Red Sea blues
 Landing at Delhi take a third class train;
 Umbrella vendor in the autumn rain.
 Then the cops come by and ask your name.
 With his chillum and chillum-chee
 The cazee sentences me;
 So now go where you're supposed to be
 And give up your Devi Desi.
 I's paraded on through the choke
 When my leg irons broke
 And my bicycle wheel spoke:
 The Bombay army's no joke.
 On the top of a Naracan Dam
 Started our picnic then Bam!
 My Devi n me had to scram:
 Quick down to Madras a'lamb.
 Thought as a tindal that I could blend
 As I got to pretend,
 From laziness, the gang defend:
 pick up your pick axe and rend!
 Fasten your seatbelt and take hold of my arm
 That's what she said before setting off my alarm:
 Baby gotta go baby gotta go.
 I know
 She's gonna go
 I know
 She's gonna go
 Down in Columbo girl whatever you want
 But the surf and cobras, tigers all taunt:
 Baby gotta go baby gotta go.
 I know
 She's gonna go
 I know
 She's gonna go