Uncle Harvey's Plane

Well me 'n oliver 'n Virgil were in the drugstore killin' time
 When my eyes fell upon this magazine
 Well I got to reading this article about sky diving and parachutes
 Said jumpin out of airplanes was the thing
 Being raised down on the farm and always ready for adventure
 Well I knew that I could find a way
 Delmer Gill he's got a parachute and uncle Harvey's got an airplane
 So we called the boys together
 Today's the day
 Well I found out too late what Uncle Harvey called an airplane
 It was nothing but an engine and a wing
 Now I felt my fear begin to rise as Delmer packed that parachute
 Cuz' he told me i was doing the right thing
 Ron McGloughlan shook my hand and JD strapped me in the harness
 Some children brought a jug and they passed it round
 Well I took one look at that parachute and that whiskey and that airplane
 And I turned that bottle up and I drank it down
 Well I was drunker that Cooter Jones when they poured me in the plane
 Say the engine coughed and headed for the clouds.
 Well I was sober as a judge when Harvey opened up the door
 And I never known my heart could beat so loud.
 I screamed "Harvey, I can't do this. You and I have known each other a very long time and you've been my uncle all my life and to ask another human being to jump out of an airplane at this altitude and this velocity is simply ridiculous man" at which point he kicked me out the door
 And I wrapped my hands around the landing gear
 And I was holding on real good til Harvey stepped upon my fingers
 And Virgil heard me scream from way down there
 Well I'd thank God and I'd thank Buddha I'd thank Jesus I'd thank Judah
 I'd thank Krishna and all the lesser Hindu gods
 Most of all thank my good friend Delmer Gill when my parachute finally opened
 And I thought hell there ain't no use in being afraid
 I came crashing through that hen house
 I scared chickens I broke eggs
 And then I kissed that ground and I fainted dead away
 Now friends I've been in a few battles
 And I've been shot at once or twice
 And I've damned near been runned over by a train
 But I never do remember ever feeling so afraid
 As that day I jumped from Uncle Harvey's plane.