Look Out, There's a Monster Coming - 2007 Remaster

Stanshall
 Lonely, unmarried, looking for love,
 Life was passing me by.
 So I sent off my photo, hobbies and age;
 Magazine marriage I tried.
 They say for centuries lovely Japanese girls
 Have been trained in the art of pleasing men.
 Be lonely no more, open destiny's door.
 For one dollar they arrange a meeting.
 My image was wrong, I didn't like me,
 So I changed my personality.
 I bought a delux Merseybeat wig
 But it was a size too big.
 What confidence in my new built-up shoes,
 So smart for winter or summer.
 Undetectable in normal everyday use.
 Look out there's a monster coming!
 Bye-bye binoculars and macintosh,
 Everything is just great.
 I take elocution, learn to speak posh
 But still I can't find a mate.
 Be popular, learn to play the guitar,
 In seven days you could be strumming.
 Be sociable, learn kissing technique.
 Look out there's a monster coming!
 Carnaby clothes, I reshaped my nose,
 Plastic surgery's best.
 To cut down my weight off comes my left leg.
 I pass a swimming costume test.
 Are my sideboards too long,
 Don't my aftershave pong?
 I know my new nose ain't runnin'.
 What's wrong with my tie?
 Am I getting too high?
 Look out there's a monster coming!
 Disfiguring and ugly, my facial hair
 I had removed electrically.
 I rejuvenated my energy cells
 And regained my virility (grunt grunt).
 (He put my hand on my heart?),
 (I am changing the part?).
 He had a machine for a mummy.
 Please be gentle with me:
 I come to pieces literally.
 Look out there's a monster coming!
 Look out there's a monster coming!
 Look out there's a monster coming!
 (...fade)