So Exciting! (The Pitch Song)

Oh, the story! Ah! Yes, uh
 There'll be
 Lovers
 And singers
 And entrepreneurs
 Depravity
 Ecstasy
 And love that endures
 Worthy of even the best rock on tour
 A tale in the shadows of dear sacré-coeur
 We! See!
 Along the seine
 Upon it's filthy shore
 The bloated corpses of those
 Killed the night before
 But it's a family show
 With art both high and low
 A tale of love
 And death
 And sex
 And money
 Dancing and away we go
 Sweet satine
 Who plays our ingenue
 A sparrow singing up and
 Down each avenue
 She wears a thin black dress
 And tells a tale of woe
 Of pain and loneliness
 But that's not all, as these things go!
 She's rather sick
 With some obscure malaise
 No doubt a crueler trick from
 Wilder desperate days
 But one day
 Singing through her pain
 The song kicks out the rain
 And there he stands
 A lover
 Yes
 One day, everything changes
 When she meets a man
 A man
 Unlike any she has known
 He's uh
 A ventriloquist
 No! He's a matador
 Striding across the sands of destiny
 No no no
 He's a sailor
 Yes! A sailor! That's it
 A man who has spent his life voyaging across the turbulent seas
 He's been searching for a mate
 And now it seems like fate
 A gift from God above
 A love divine forevermore
 Their bodies intertwined
 But fate has many other things in store
 There's a man who already claims her
 An evil gangster who runs this town
 She's unhappy and no one blames her
 The most lascivious racketeer around
 He buys her love
 He buys her clothes
 He's rough but this is all the poor girl knows
 He buys her love
 There's no escape
 But now a triangle has taken shape
 And so the sailor, driven mad
 Determined to unseat this cad
 Swears to risk his life for love
 And there's our show
 All of the above
 A spectacle of savagery
 A testament to lunacy
 Fun for the whole family
 And all of it designed by me
 So exciting
 The audience will stomp and cheer
 So delighting
 It will run for fifty years
 So exciting
 Make them laugh or make them cry
 So delighting
 And in the end should someone die?
 So exciting
 Make our dream reality
 So delighting
 Make it happen just for me
 Make it happen just for me