Bleak Memories

I haven't seen the Sun so long
 My Fortune turned away
 I hoped I died, but I was wrong
 My life is price to pay
 With fear of silence in my head
 I used to cry a lot
 Now all my feelings which I dread
 Stained my hands in blood
 You don't believe me. No one believes, for sure
 You think I'm insane. My prayers you ignore
 I do not hate you. Although I hate my soul
 My sadness leaves a rotting hole
 Drown in my own
 No bottom down beneath me. I blame myself for life
 There in my own
 Bleak memories of bright days lose the endless strife
 You say you tired of me, you know
 I'm tired of me as well
 I can't endure this pain no more
 It kills me, I can tell
 I'm really sick of walls around
 That build the path I go
 They don't protect me, as I thought
 They are not my law
 You don't believe me. I do not ask for it
 But I'm still breathing and you should deal with it
 I can not hate you. You don't deserve my hate
 We should have live, but it's too late
 Who will wait when I go away?
 Who will stay grieving night and day?
 Who am I calling to?
 Who will save me from my mistakes?
 Before I leave, I wish to see your eyes
 To feel your lips, to hear your charming lie
 My ashes perish with my soul, and nothing left of me
 But no one answer me what for