I Think I'll Just Stay Here and Drink

Did you ever hear tell of sweet Betsy from Pike
 Who crossed the wide prairies with her lover Ike
 With two yoke of cattle and a one-spotted hog
 A tall Shanghai rooster and an old yellow dog
 One evening quite early they camped on the Platte
 Made down their blankets on a green shady flat
 Where Betsy, sore-footed, lay down to repose
 With wonder Ike gazed on his Pike County rose
 Their wagons broke down with a terrible crash
 And out on the prairie rolled all sorts of trash
 A few little baby clothes, done up with care
 'Twas rather suspicious, though all on the square
 The Shanghai ran off and the cattle all died
 That morning the last piece of bacon was fried
 Poor Ike was discouraged, and Betsy got mad
 The dog drooped his tail and looked wondrously sad
 They soon reached the desert, where Betsy gave out
 And down in the sand she lay rolling about
 While Ike, half distracted, looked on with surprise
 Saying "Betsy, get up, you'll get sand in your eyes"
 Sweet Betsy got up in a great deal of pain
 Declared she'd go back to Pike County again
 But Ike heaved a sigh, and they fondly embraced
 And they traveled along with his arm 'round her waist
 They swam the wide rivers and climbed the tall peaks
 And camped on the prairies for weeks upon weeks
 Starvation and cholera, hard work and slaughter
 They reached California spite of hell and high water
 That morning they stood on a very high hill
 And with wonder looked down into old Placerville
 Ike shouted and said, as he cast his eyes down
 "Sweet Betsy, my darling, we've got to Hangtown"
 Long Ike and sweet Betsy attended a dance
 Where Ike wore a pair of his Pike County pants
 Sweet Betsy was covered with ribbons and rings
 Said Ike "You're an angel, but where are your wings?"
 This Pike County couple got married, of course
 But Ike became jealous, obtained a divorce
 And Betsy, well satisfied, said with a shout
 "Goodbye, you big lummox, I'm glad you backed out"