Poor Thing

Isn't that a room up there over the pie shop?
 If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out?
 That should bring in something
 Up there?
 Oh, no one will go near it
 People think it's haunted
 You see, years ago
 Something happened up there
 Something not very nice
 There was a barber and his wife
 And he was beautiful
 A proper artist with a knife
 But they transported him for life
 And he was beautiful
 Barker his name was-- Benjamin Barker
 Transported? What was his crime?
 Foolishness
 He had this wife, you see
 Pretty little thing
 Silly little nit
 Had her chance for the moon on a string--
 Poor thing, poor thing
 There were these two, you see
 Wanted her like mad
 One of 'em a judge
 T'other one his beadle
 Every day they'd nudge
 And they'd wheedle
 But she wouldn't budge
 From her needle
 Too bad. Pure thing
 So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did
 Leaving her with nothing but grief and a year-old kid
 Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
 Poor fool
 Ah, but there was worse yet to come--
 Poor thing
 Johanna, that was the child's name
 Pretty little Johanna
 Go on
 My, but you do like a good story, don't you?
 Well, Beadle calls on her, all polite
 Poor thing, poor thing
 The judge, he tells her, is all contrite
 He blames himself for her dreadful plight
 She must come straight to his house tonight!
 Poor thing, poor thing
 ♪
 Of course, when she goes there
 Poor thing, poor thing
 They're havin' this ball all in masks
 There's no one she knows there
 Poor dear, poor thing
 She wanders tormented, and drinks
 Poor thing
 The judge has repented, she thinks
 Poor thing
 "Oh, where is Judge Turpin?" she asks
 He was there, all right--
 Only not so contrite!
 She wasn't no match for such craft, you see
 And everyone thought it so droll
 They figured she had to be daft, you see
 So all of 'em stood there and laughed, you see
 Poor soul!
 Poor thing!
 No! Would no one have mercy on her?!
 So it is you-- Benjamin Barker