Half A Man

All my days
 I live with my disgrace
 I'm afraid to show my face
 Or at least take off my underwear
 See I was born
 Like a half way neutered pet
 I don't have a matching set
 It's a part of me
 That just ain't there
 Please, don't stare
 Well I'm a gambling man without two dice
 I'm like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
 Oh to have two testis would be so nice
 But I'm half a man
 Yeah, I'm half a man
 Wanna die
 end it all, just call it quits
 I can't find a cup that fits
 And at baseball games I feel so dumb
 When I hear "ball one"?
 Oh, my God
 How could you have been so cruel
 To give me one family jewel
 And the one that's there must feel so sad
 He's a lonely man
 Well I'm a marathon runner with just one leg
 I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg
 Oh, I want another testi
 Do I have to beg?
 I'm half a man
 Well I'm a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
 And I'm a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
 And I'm a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
 I'm just half a man
 Yeah, I'm half a man