Fishin' Hole

Wanna have some quality time with my son
 So I brought him down to the fishin' hole
 Didn't like the feelin' of that worm in his hand
 Got mad, threw down his fishin' pole
 Said, "That's alright, son. Let's go and get an ice cream"
 "Let your old man buy you a treat"
 But he didn't like no flavors up upon that wall
 Started crying, and ran into the street...
 He's an asshole, my kid's an asshole
 I swear it just don't float my boat
 Always crying, always crying
 Made me wanna punch him in his little throat
 Called my lady up to tell her what had happened
 How our son had run away
 She said, "Don't worry, baby, I will talk to him"
 "And everything will be okay"
 My lady's an asshole, she's an asshole
 Her assholishness is off the charts
 Always perfect, always perfect
 Made me wanna punch her in her lady-parts
 I decided I'd go down to the bar
 And drown my sorrows in a beer
 But the sign outside said 'Closed For Renovations'
 'We'll open up again next year'...
 That bar is an asshole, it's an asshole
 Oh, the worst bar in the land!
 Always closing, always closing
 Can't punch a bar, cause you'll hurt your hand
 I went home to forget about my troubles
 Sat down in my favorite eazy chair
 But I couldn't relax from the pain I was feelin'
 As my hemorrhoid began to flair...
 My asshole's an asshole, a real butthole
 Needs to put his asshole-self in check!
 Always burning, always itching
 Made me wanna punch him in his asshole neck
 Late one night, lyin' awake in bed
 Mmmm, a realization came
 Are there really assholes everywhere I look?
 Or am I the one to blame?
 Maybe I just do not say the things I should say
 And I don't do the things I ought
 So I took a good, hard look at myself in the mirror
 And this is what I thought...
 The guy who sold me this mirror is an asshole, he's an asshole
 Son of a bitch said it was antique
 He was lyin', he was lyin'
 Made me wanna punch him in his salesman cheek
 I'm on a real asshole streak
 I could open up an asshole boutique
 I think this song has reached its peak
 Goodbye, you assholes, see you next week!