Crazy Peanuts

Crazy Peanuts
 Charlie Brown had a big blockhead
 Wore a stripy sweater everyday
 Tried to kick that football but Lucy always
 Pulled the motherfucker away
 Flew a kite just to try to relax
 But he always put that shit in a tree
 And the little redheaded girl
 Wouldn't give no play to poor Chuck B.
 They were the baddest fuckers in the funny papers-Peanuts!
 Onto a security blanket
 Linus Van Pelt would latch
 He snuggled into that bitch to keep warm
 While waiting in the pumpkin patch
 He had a stalker named Sally Brown
 Well she always tried to get her some
 She loved how he knew the meaning of Christmas
 And the sexy way he sucked that thumb
 Watch out, 'cause here they come... Peanuts!
 Oh Peanuts! Crazy Peanuts!
 A bunch of kids trying to be free
 Take my hand and let's dance now
 Under Charlie's shitty Christmas tree
 Marci was best friends
 With Patty Patty Peppermint
 She would love to do things to that girl
 That Charles M. Schultz can't print
 Pigpen was a dusty dude
 Who couldn't keep his own ass clean
 All the teachers said Wa wa wa wa
 Wa wa what does that shit mean?
 Watch Out, 'cause here they come... Peanuts!
 Oh Peanuts! Crazy Peanuts!
 They comin' from the school of hard knocks
 Life's not always bowls of candy
 Sometimes you just get a bag of rocks
 Lucy was a psychiatrist
 But her comments always gave offense
 And the bitch couldn't make no money
 'Cause she charged a motherfucker five cents
 You know the ladies loved some Schroeder
 'Cause he played the eighty-eights real good
 And Franklin was a real cool cat
 But the only brother in the hood
 Watch out, 'cause here they come... Peanuts!
 Oh Peanuts! Crazy Peanuts!
 Poor Charlie Brown you will never get laid
 It's so hard to get pussy
 When you're the baldest kid in 2nd grade
 Oh Peanuts! Crazy Peanuts!
 A bunch of kids trying to be free
 Take my hand and let's dance now
 Under Charlie's shitty Christmas tree