Dentist!

When I was younger, just a bad little kid
 My momma noticed funny things I did
 Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun
 I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
 I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head
 That's when my momma said
 (What did she say?)
 She said "My boy, I think someday
 You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"
 You'll be a dentist
 (Be a dentist)
 You have a talent for causing things pain
 (Pain)
 Son, be a dentist
 (Son, be a dentist)
 People will pay you to be inhumane
 Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
 And teaching would suit you still less
 Son, be a dentist you'll be a success
 Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque!
 Watch him suck up that gas, oh my God
 He is a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
 Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis De Sade?
 Oh, that hurts, wait, I'm not numb
 Ehh, shut up, open wide, here I come
 I am your dentist
 (Goodness Gracious)
 And I enjoy the career that I picked
 (Love it)
 I am your dentist
 (Fitting braces)
 And I get off on the pain I inflict
 (You really love it)
 When I start extracting those molars
 (Ooh, don't try it)
 You girls will be screaming like holy rollers
 (Dentist)
 And though it may cause my patients distress
 (Distress)
 Somewhere in heaven above me
 I know that my momma's proud of me
 'Cause I'm a dentist and a success
 Say aah
 (Ahh)
 Say aah
 (Ahh)
 Say ahh
 (Ahh)
 Now spit