The Queen's Head

We're hurrying home from Sheffield
 Having received a phone call
 From our tearful nephew
 Whom we had left in charge
 It's happened again, the pub's flooded again
 Humber burst its banks this morning
 We've been over to see our mam
 Who's in the later stages of dementia
 She didn't understand that we had to go
 A whole box of Maltesers got sent rolling all over the floor
 How little we are, clung to the river's edge
 Come hell or high water, how little we are
 Ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
 We park up by the derelict primary school
 Tie bags for life around our ankles
 And wade across the playing field
 Through the council estate to the market square
 The whole town's come out to stand dumbly about
 Staring at the filthy water
 The guy from the vape shop
 Ferrying his chocolate labs
 Waves to us cheerily
 From a leaky kayak
 I've lost everything apart from what counts
 Pointing to his dogs and then at his heart
 How little we are, clung to the river's edge
 Come hell or high water, how little we are
 Ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
 There's a crowd gathered 'round the fat headed butcher
 Who's back on his soap box again
 Bemoaning the lack of adequate flood defences
 Somehow putting it down to an
 Insurge of benefit-scrounging immigrants
 While handing out packs of sausages, black puddings, ham and haggises
 Avoiding making eye contact, we hurry past the baying throng
 Our beer garden lies in disarray
 Tangled chair legs and drowned umbrellas
 Crossing the threshold, we are overwhelmed
 To find our neighbours who we've never actually spoke to
 Working frantically to save our pub
 Lifting the tables clear and sweeping them away the liquid mud
 How little we are, clung to the river's edge
 Come hell or high water, how little we are
 Ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
 ♪
 How little we are, in the mouth of the world
 Come hell or high water, how little we are
 Ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
 Ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh