A Really Lousy Day in the Universe

Hey, mister!
 Hey, you!
 What are you looking so sad for?
 Nothing, really nothing,
 absolutely nothing
 How about some money?
 I can't refuse
 I need new shoes
 And some pants
 I need romance
 What about you?
 Tonight, after eight long hours he appeared
 It was worse than the doctor had feared
 And then the doctor said
 "I hoped by now he'd be awake;
 At least I thought he'd be awake.
 My mistake!"
 Then I prodded him and poked him
 And his mother started crying
 And then Rhoda started yelling at the nurse
 It was a really lousy day in the universe
 You love him
 Too bad
 What are you looking surprised for?
 We hoped things would turn out better
 Things don't get better
 They only seem to
 Then they don't
 Don't be surprised
 When life turns out to be
 A trashy old catastrophe and...
 Oh, hey, mister!
 It's all right
 Life is a rotten occasion
 Let me give you money
 Please forget the money
 Please do not insult me
 I'm not amused
 But it's therapy
 I give therapy for free
 I'm just glad to have a client finally
 So I called his name and hugged him
 But the jerk is in a coma
 And his mother hopes he dies if he gets worse
 It was a really lousy day in the universe
 They all are
 They all are