I Had A Heart

I walk on this frozen lake
 Hoping to hit a spot that's weaker than I was
 A year a half ago
 I remember how christmas used to be
 Before she spat me out
 And left me to roam this empty place
 If I ran to the city sub lights, I'd still feel dull and worn out
 It's time to start over and move on
 My grandma keeps going on about the new year
 She says "you can't miss what you forget."
 I'll spend the night slamming doors
 Smoking outside my grandparents house
 I thought christmas was the time for us to feel loved
 I feel like no one understands me anymore
 Nothing is how it was last year
 But it's cold and lonely, just like before
 It's time to start over and move on
 My grandma keeps going on about the new year
 She says "you can't miss what you forget."
 I'll sit and wonder who she loves instead of me
 If she told me who it was
 I'm afraid it would rip my heart out
 For my family to see
 At least they'd know I had a heart
 At least they'd know I had a heart