Choctaw Bingo

Strap them kids in
 Give 'em a little bit of vodka in a cherry coke
 We're going to Oklahoma to the family reunion for the first time in years
 It's up at uncle Slayton's cause he's getting on in years
 You know he no longer travels but he's still pretty spry
 He's not much on talking and he's just too mean to die
 And they'll be comin' down from Kansas
 And from west Arkansas
 It'll be one great big old party like you never saw
 Uncle Slayton's got his Texan pride
 Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
 He's got a Airstream trailer and a Holstein cow
 He still makes whiskey 'cause he still knows how
 He plats that Choctaw bingo every Friday night
 You know he had to leave Texas but he won't say why
 He owns a quarter section up by Lake Eufala
 Caught a great big ol' blue cat on a driftin' jug line
 Sells his hardwood timber to the shipping mill
 Cooks that crystal meth because the shine don't sell
 He cooks that crystal meth because the shine don't sell
 You know he likes his money he don't mind the smell
 My cousin Roscoe Slayton's oldest boy from his second marriage up in Illinois
 He was raised in East St. Louis by his momma's people
 Where they do things different
 Thought he'd just come on down
 He was going to Dallas Texas in a semi truck called from that big McDonald's
 You know the one they built up on that great big ol' bridge
 Across the Will Rogers Turnpike
 Took the Big Cabin exit stopped and bought a couple of cartons of cigarettes
 At that Indian Smoke Shop with the big neon smoke rings
 In the Cherokee Nation hit Muskogee late that night
 Somebody ran a stoplight at the Shawnee Bypass
 Roscoe tried to miss 'em but he didn't quite
 Bob and Mae come up from little town
 Way down by lake Texoma where he coaches football
 They were two A champions now for two years running
 But he says they won't be this year no they won't be this year
 And he stopped off in Tushka at that "Pop's Knife and Gun" place
 Bought a SKS rifle and a couple a full cases of that steel core ammo
 With the berdan primers from some East bloc nation that no longer needs 'em
 And a Desert Eagle that's one great big ol' pistol
 I mean .50 caliber made by badass Hebrews
 And some surplus tracers for that old BAR of Slayton's
 Soon as it gets dark we're gonna have us a time
 We're gonna have us a time
 Ruth Ann and Lynn come down from Baxter Springs
 That's one hell raisin' town way up in Southeastern Kansas
 Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store
 That's got them Rolling Stones lips up there where everyone can see 'em
 And they burn all night you know they burn all night you know they burn all night
 Ruth Ann and Lynn they wear them cut off britches and those skinny little halters
 And they're second cousins to me
 Man I don't care I want to get between 'em
 With a great big ol' hard on like a old bois d' arc fence post
 You could hang a pipe rail gait from
 Do some twisted sisters 'til the cows come home
 And we'd be havin' us a time
 Uncle Slayton's got his Texan pride
 Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
 He's cut that corner pasture into acre lots'
 He sells 'em owner financed
 Strictly to them that's got no kind of credit 'Cause he knows they're slackers
 When they miss that payment
 Then he takes it back
 He plays that Choctaw Bingo every Friday night
 Drinks that Johnny Walker at that Club 69
 We're gonna strap them kids in give 'em a little bit o' Benadryl
 And a cherry coke we're goin' to Oklahoma Gonna have us a time