Passionfruit

My thoughts and actions constantly clashing
 I suck at passion
 My heart knows that you're fragile
 But my mouth keeps button-mashing
 My ADD often distracting me
 Often a rationalization trying to justify my often clumsy practice
 From woeful winters, and sours springs, to summer sadness
 I frequently fall short of what I often promise
 Backflip into a solitary corner
 Feeling so sorry for myself, acting like nothing matters
 But the truth of the matter is it's fruitless as a pattern
 It's useless, stupid, it's damaging, got to mute it from happening
 It's a bully; it's arrogant
 Can be truly embarrassing
 When consumed by its shadow, I keep on losing my sanity
 Yeah, focusing on self
 While you in the corner, lonely, simply hoping that I help
 Stuck within my little mind, fail to notice you're in hell
 When self-centered all I offer is a broken little shell
 I shall let my feelings flow like the smoke that I expel
 Explaining how I feel now and exposing how I've felt
 Exorcise the demons that I hold inside myself
 You've been excellent to me
 So I just hope now I excel
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 (There's not even a door to get in or out)
 Change is in the wind; it ain't imaginary
 Bloodstream full of ink; let it paint your capillaries
 Rolling through the grass, we just playin' in the anthills
 My favorite little toxin in my body's at a standstill
 My focus and my vision have a different view
 I'm holding back vomit, gotta make it past the centrifuge
 No ground, no floors, never seen a landing spot
 Besides my granddad, I can't say I've been a fan of cops
 All I do is stand and rot, sky full of lovebugs
 I think I'd see your face again if I do enough drugs
 Or maybe not, baby stop; my Dreamcast still broke
 They say that rap is dead; I'm kinda mad I weren't the kill stroke
 Old heads; dying off
 New heads; rhyming soft
 Can't afford a MacBook, my OS Microsoft
 Facial feature broken, full of glass and bad memories
 Slow crawl cocoon, I can't wait til cats pillar me
 It's summertime again, but summers ain't so summery
 The grass is always greener; that's the age-old summary
 Say I like change, but I'm afraid change will come for me
 Afraid I might change by the time change done with me