A Few Words in Defense of Our Country

I'd like to say a few words
 In defense of our country
 Whose people aren't bad nor are they mean
 Now the leaders we have
 While they're the worst that we've had
 Are hardly the worst this poor world has seen
 Let's turn history's pages, shall we?
 Take the Caesars for example
 Why within the first few of them
 They were sleeping with their sister
 Stashing little boys in swimming pools
 And burning down the City
 And one of 'em, one of 'em
 Appointed his own horse Consul of the Empire
 That's like vice president or something
 That's not a very good example, is it?
 But wait, here's one, the Spanish Inquisition
 They put people in a terrible position
 I don't even like to think about it
 Well, sometimes I like to think about it
 Just a few words in defense of our country
 Whose time at the top
 Could be coming to an end
 Now we don't want their love
 And respect at this point is pretty much out of the question
 But in times like these
 We sure could use a friend
 Hitler. Stalin.
 Men who need no introduction
 King Leopold of Belgium. That's right.
 Everyone thinks he's so great
 Well he owned The Congo
 He tore it up too
 He took the diamonds, he took the gold
 He took the silver
 Know what he left them with?
 Malaria
 A President once said,
 "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
 Now it seems like we're supposed to be afraid
 It's patriotic in fact and color coded
 And what are we supposed to be afraid of?
 Why, of being afraid
 That's what terror means, doesn't it?
 That's what it used to mean
 You know it pisses me off a little
 That this Supreme Court is gonna outlive me
 A couple of young Italian fellas and a brother on the Court now too
 But I defy you, anywhere in the world
 To find me two Italians as tight-ass as the two Italians we got
 And as for the brother
 Well, Pluto's not a planet anymore either
 The end of an empire is messy at best
 And this empire is ending
 Like all the rest
 Like the Spanish Armada adrift on the sea
 We're adrift in the land of the brave
 And the home of the free
 Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.