A Secretary Is Not a Toy

Gentlemen
 Gentlemen
 A secretary is not a toy
 No, my boy
 Not a toy
 To fondle and dandle
 And playfully handle
 In search of some puerile joy
 No, a secretary is not
 Definitely not a toy
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 You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt
 We wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Bratt
 It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt
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 A secretary is not a toy
 No, my boy
 Not a toy
 So do not go jumping for joy, oy!
 A secretary is not
 A secretary is not
 A secretary is not a toy
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 A secretary is not to be
 Used for play therapy
 Be good to the girl you employ, boy
 Remember, no matter what
 You got to cover your gut
 A secretary is not a toy
 
 She's a highly specialized key component
 Of operational unity
 A fine and sensitive mechanism
 To serve the office community
 
 With a mother at home she supports
 (And you'll find nothing like her at FAO Schwartz)
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 A secretary is not a pet
 Nor an erector set
 It happened to Johnny McCoy
 Boy, they fired him like a shot
 The day the fella forgot
 A secretary is not a toy
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 A secretary is not a toy
 And when you put 'er to use
 Observe, when you put her to use
 That you don't find the name "Lionel"
 On her caboose
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 A secretary is not a thing
 Wound by key, pulled by string
 Her pad is to write in
 And not spend the night in
 If that's what you plan to enjoy
 No!
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 The secretary you got
 Is definitely not
 Employed to do a good lot
 For you know what
 Before you jump for joy
 Remember this, my boy
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 A secretary is not
 A tinker toy!