Arthur Mcbride - New Recording

Oh me and my cousin, one Arthur McBride
 As we went a walkin' down by the seaside
 Now mark what followed and what did betide
 It being on Christmas morning
 Out for recreation we went on a tramp
 And we met Sergeant Knacker and Corporal Cramp (or Vamp)
 And a little wee drummer intending to camp
 For the day being pleasant and charming
 Good morning, good morning the sergeant did cry
 And the same to you gentlemen, we did reply
 Intending no harm but meant to pass by
 For it being on Christmas morning
 But says he my fine fellows if you will enlist
 It's ten guineas in gold I will slip in your fist
 And a crown in the bargain for to kick up the dust
 And to drink the King's health in the morning
 For a soldier he leads a very fine life
 He always is blessed with a charming young wife
 And he pays all his debts without sorrow or strife
 And always lives happy and charming
 And a soldier he always is decent and clean
 In the finest of clothing he's constantly seen
 While other poor fellows go dirty and mean
 And sup on thin gruel in the morning
 Says Arthur, I wouldn't be proud of your clothes
 You've only the lend of them as I suppose
 And you dare not change them one night or you know
 If you do you'll be flogged in the morning
 And although we are single and free
 We take great delight in our own company
 And we have no desire strange places to see
 Although your offer is charming
 And we have no desire to take your advance
 All hazards and danger we barter on chance
 and you'd have no scruples to send us to France
 Where we would be shot without warning
 And now says the sergeant, I'll have no such chat
 And I neither will take it from spalpeen or brat
 For if you insult me with one other word
 I'll cut off your heads in the morning
 And then Arthur and I we soon drew our hods?
 And we scarce gave them time for to draw their own blades
 When a trusty shillelagh came over their heads
 And bade them take that as fair warning
 As for their old rusty rapiers that hung by their sides
 We flung it as far as we could in the tide
 To the Devil I pitch you, says Arthur McBride
 To temper your steel in the morning
 As for the wee drummer, we rifled his pow
 And made a football of his row-do-dow-dow
 Into the tide to rock and to roll
 And bade it a tedious returnin'
 And we haven't no money to pay them off in cracks
 And we paid no respect to the two bloody backs
 For we lathered them there like a pair of wet sacks
 And left them for dead in the morning
 And so to conclude and to finish disputes
 We obligingly asked if they wanted recruits
 For we were the lads who would give them hard clouts
 And bid them look sharp in the morning
 Oh me and my cousin, one Arthur McBride
 As we went a walkin' down by the seaside
 Now mark what followed and what did betide
 It being on Christmas morning
 After many years of evolution, Andy Irvine sings the first few verses slightly differently:
 I had a first cousin called Arthur McBride
 He and I took a stroll down by the seaside;
 Seeking good fortune and what might betide
 It was just as the day was a'dawnin'
 After restin' we both took a tramp
 We met Sergeant Harper and Corporal Cramp
 Besides the wee drummer who beat up the camp
 With his row-dee-dow-dow in the morning
 He says my young fellows if you will enlist
 A guinea you quickly will have in your fist
 Besides a crown for to kick up the dust
 And drink the King's health in the morning
 (the rest is the same)