Merry Christmas from the Family

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
 At our Christmas party
 We were drinkin' champagne punch
 And homemade eggnog
 Little sister brought her new boyfriend
 He was a Mexican
 We didn't know what to think of him
 'Til he sang "Feliz Navidad"
 "Feliz Navidad"
 
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 Brother Ken brought his kids with him
 The three from his first wife Lynn
 And the two identical twins
 From his second wife Mary Nell
 Of course, he brought his new wife Kaye
 Who talks all about AA
 Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
 "Noel, Noel, The first Noel"
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 Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
 Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
 Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
 We need some ice and an extension cord
 A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
 A box of pampers, some Marlboro Lights
 Hallelujah, everybody say "Cheese"
 Merry Christmas from the family
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 Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
 I can't remember how I'm kin to them
 But when they tried to plug their motor home in
 They blew our Christmas lights
 Cousin David knew just what went wrong
 So we all waited out on our front lawn
 He threw the breaker and the lights came on
 And we sang "Silent Night"
 "Silent night, holy night"
 Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
 Mix Bloody Marys 'cause we all want one
 Send somebody to the Stop-n-Go
 We need some celery and a can of fake snow
 A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
 A box of Midol, some Salem Lights
 Hallelujah, everybody say "Cheese"
 Merry Christmas from the family
 Feliz Navidad