The Homosexual

I love women but I'm thinking of giving in
 I love women but what's the point of arguing
 With the men from boarding schools and building sites
 Who've told me I'm a homosexual all my life
 One stop past Embankment and the coughs begin
 Hell hath no fury like an insecure Englishman
 You don't need psychoanalysts to translate this
 'There is an open homosexual in our midst'
 'The Homosexual' they call me
 It's all the same to me
 That spectre they projected I will now pretend to be
 Since their neurosis is what passes for normality
 It's okay with me if I'm queer
 Since their tone-deafness is called the love of music
 I won't disabuse them
 I'll make love with their women
 I'll make them sing notes of pleasure
 Their husbands will never hear
 I love women but I take them by surprise
 Pretending absolute indifference to their breasts and thighs
 Like their hairdressers and dressmakers I hear confessionals
 Reserved for homosexual professionals
 As I put their feet in stirrups with my limp wrist
 (A trick I learned from a homosexual gynaecologist)
 I recall the words my first girlfriend ended our first date with
 "I feel privileged you chose me to go straight with"
 'The Homosexual' they call me
 It's all the same to me
 That spectre they projected I will now pretend to be
 Since their neurosis is what passes for normality
 It's okay with me if I'm queer
 Since their tone-deafness is called the love of music
 I won't disabuse them
 I'll make love with their women
 I'll make them sing notes of pleasure
 Their husbands will never hear
 You who called me shirt-lifter in Chemistry class
 You who sniggered "look out for your arse"
 Now your women wash your shirts, now your kids are born, baby, look out for your horns
 You who called me teapot, who plagued me with your bile
 Guess who I've got coming to the boil
 Why not grab the nettle I'll settle for being the kettle if you're the pot
 I take my tea like my revenge: sweet and hot
 'The Homosexual' they call me
 It's all the same to me
 That spectre they projected I will now pretend to be
 Since their neurosis is what passes for normality
 It's okay with me if I'm queer
 Since their tone-deafness is called the love of music
 I won't disabuse them
 I'll make love with their women
 I'll make them sing notes of pleasure
 Their husbands will never hear
 'The Homosexual' you call me
 It's all the same to me
 That spectre you projected I will now pretend to be
 Since your neurosis is what passes for normality
 It's okay with me if I'm queer
 Since your tone-deafness is called the love of music
 I won't disabuse you
 I'll make love with your women
 I'll make them sing notes of pleasure
 That you will never hear
 Never in a million years
 No fucking fear