Shaftesbury Avenue

I think you're wailing for someone
 And I think he's not going to show
 And there's this little place round the corner
 Wanna go?
 Uptown - charcoal and braziers
 Uptown - where the traffic is crazier
 Uptown - where the people are racier
 And the stage door is unlit
 Uptown - I'm going up there just as I am
 Going to dance down the roofs of the traffic jam
 Uptown - 'cause I've got something that's itching me
 And here's where I'm going to scratch it
 Appearing in the West End:
 Tottenham Hotspurs with Rolex handshakes
 And crocodile sunlans
 (Appearing in the West End)
 JAPs and prunes, cops and robbers
 Touts with faces like the phantom of the opera
 Council house tarts and cocktail bars
 Looking for a boyfriend
 (Appearing in the West End)
 Foetus in the dish, falcon down the pan
 Feasts in the dustbin
 (Appearing in the West End)
 Gerrard Street girl watch as I go
 My hungry blue eyes below your window
 (Appearing in the West End)
 If I could just speak Cantonese
 You could be my best friend
 (Appearing in the West End)
 There's some greal entertainment lined up for me
 On BBC1
 But meet me on Shahesbury Avenue
 (Operating for fun, looking for a good time)
 Sophisticated sister, so much better at life than me
 Meet me on Shaftesbury Avenue
 Talk to me
 Dance with me
 Make love with me
 Make me somebody
 Uptown - walking all night all alone
 Uptown - through the entertainment zone
 Uptown - searching for sweet oblivion
 'til the bitter end
 Uptown - nothing comes to him who waits
 Uptown - no free lunches, no dinner dates
 Uptown - got to take your chance at a back door dance
 With a very special friend
 Appearing in the West End:
 Streatham princesses in sherbert stilettoes
 And matt black toy boys who act like heroes
 (Appearing in the West End)
 Businessman sleaze, whips made of liquorice
 No sex please: we're British
 (Appearing in the West End)
 Chinatown pimps and handshake whores
 And Tackhead caps at the Astoria doors
 (Appearing in the West End)
 XR1 sunroofs open on the night
 Bragging Kiss FM rapper's delight
 (Appearing in the West End)
 Gerrard Street girl watch as I go
 My hungry blue eyes below your window
 (Appearing in the West End)
 If I could just speak Vietnamese
 You could be my best friend
 (Appearing in the West End)
 There's some great entertainment lined up for me
 On BBC1
 But meet me on Shaftesbury Avenue
 (Operating for fun, looking for a good time)
 Sophisticated sister, so much better at life than me
 Meet me on Shaftesbury Avenue
 Talk to me
 Dance with me
 Make love with me
 Make me somebody
 Make me somebody
 Make me somebody
 Make me somebody