Dolorem Ipsum

I could probably stand to lose a few emotional pounds
 'Cuz the thoughts in my head just keep goin' around
 Yo, so I swear it upon penalty of perjury
 That I'm gonna open my heart without surgery
 Life is a battle; every time that your draw breath
 You're resistin' the sinister entity that we call death
 But no one understands me, so I gotta live my life alone
 The only friend I got is the microphone
 I'm not the only one with things in the past
 But many deal wit' drugs and some cling to the flask
 I won't do that, though the pain is excruciating
 'Cuz I still see hope, but I may be hallucinating
 Now I'm stressin', depressin'; I need a way to cope
 I need somethin' to smile about like Quaker Oats
 Sometimes I catch myself longin' for the cemetery
 When your mind turns against you, it be really scary
 Perhaps I've been too young and naive
 So optimistic and dumb I believed
 That denial was a good way to cope with the past
 I tried to make peace wit' my demons and hope it would last, but nah
 It don't abate on its own; that's the bitter truth
 The only solution you have is to give a hoot
 It's a painful process of personal growth
 But if you stay the same, that's what'll hurt you the most
 Of course, as with all things, there's a risk and a cost
 But compare the shit you'll gain to the shit that you lost
 You might be goin' through hell, but you can't stop
 Just keep your mental posture as straight as a ramrod
 Supposed to be the model of mental stability
 But I hide my pain; it's confidentially killin' me
 Yes, I still feel the pain, guilt and shame; trauma
 Strivin' towards the mental strength of my mama
 She couldn't count on what somebody would deliver or give her later
 But still managed to put food in our refrigerator
 Sufferin' pain; wasn't clear to me why, yo
 Was it in vain, every tear in her eye? Nah!
 It'd be disrespect to her to throw my life away
 I think I'm gonna hold on, and make a brighter day
 Imagine if you only had one day to live
 Would your actions be positive, or negative?
 Think about it, and endeavor to get better
 I just hope you gain insight from what my pen writes
 Trust me, yo, you'll be fine if you persevere
 But I get it; sometimes it's kinda hard to hear
 Is there a God to fear? Yes, absolutely
 The man in the mirror's who you should pray to to save you
 And even when you're facin' insurmountable odds
 You only doubt yourself when you doubtin' the gods
 I don't know; maybe I'm ramblin' nonsense
 But I, for one, am sick of the sadness and despondence
 'Sup to you, G, whether you wanna make the sacrifice
 But if you got a cold heart, you gotta crack the ice