I could probably stand to lose a few emotional pounds
'Cuz the thoughts in my head just keep goin' around
Yo, so I swear it upon penalty of perjury
That I'm gonna open my heart without surgery
Life is a battle; every time that your draw breath
You're resistin' the sinister entity that we call death
But no one understands me, so I gotta live my life alone
The only friend I got is the microphone
I'm not the only one with things in the past
But many deal wit' drugs and some cling to the flask
I won't do that, though the pain is excruciating
'Cuz I still see hope, but I may be hallucinating
Now I'm stressin', depressin'; I need a way to cope
I need somethin' to smile about like Quaker Oats
Sometimes I catch myself longin' for the cemetery
When your mind turns against you, it be really scary
Perhaps I've been too young and naive
So optimistic and dumb I believed
That denial was a good way to cope with the past
I tried to make peace wit' my demons and hope it would last, but nah
It don't abate on its own; that's the bitter truth
The only solution you have is to give a hoot
It's a painful process of personal growth
But if you stay the same, that's what'll hurt you the most
Of course, as with all things, there's a risk and a cost
But compare the shit you'll gain to the shit that you lost
You might be goin' through hell, but you can't stop
Just keep your mental posture as straight as a ramrod
Supposed to be the model of mental stability
But I hide my pain; it's confidentially killin' me
Yes, I still feel the pain, guilt and shame; trauma
Strivin' towards the mental strength of my mama
She couldn't count on what somebody would deliver or give her later
But still managed to put food in our refrigerator
Sufferin' pain; wasn't clear to me why, yo
Was it in vain, every tear in her eye? Nah!
It'd be disrespect to her to throw my life away
I think I'm gonna hold on, and make a brighter day
Imagine if you only had one day to live
Would your actions be positive, or negative?
Think about it, and endeavor to get better
I just hope you gain insight from what my pen writes
Trust me, yo, you'll be fine if you persevere
But I get it; sometimes it's kinda hard to hear
Is there a God to fear? Yes, absolutely
The man in the mirror's who you should pray to to save you
And even when you're facin' insurmountable odds
You only doubt yourself when you doubtin' the gods
I don't know; maybe I'm ramblin' nonsense
But I, for one, am sick of the sadness and despondence
'Sup to you, G, whether you wanna make the sacrifice
But if you got a cold heart, you gotta crack the ice