It Doesn't Get Better Than This

[Wilbur:] [Spoken-] "Tracy, my little petunia, even I used
 to get discouraged about the future. Luckily, I had a
 Wonderful family to turn to."
 When I was a tot not much older than three,
 My father would sit me on his one good knee.
 He hacked and he coughed from those three packs a day,
 But he still found the lung-power to say:
 "Ohhh, the... future looks dark, may be troubles ahead.
 You at least have tomorrow but I may be dead."
 Then he yelled from the can taking his final piss:
 "Kid! it doesn't get better than this!"
 [Wilbur:] [Spoken-] "Feel better, Tracy?"
 [Tracy:] [Spoken-] "Um... Sorta..."
 [Wilbur:] [Spoken-] "Alright, then, listen to this!"
 My mother loved dope, and tobacco she'd chew.
 Each morning at breakfast she'd knock back a few.
 She walked me to school with her eyes shiny red;
 I can still smell her breath as she said:
 "Ohhh, the... future looks bright, Wilbur, don't make a fuss."
 Then she stepped off the curb, and got hit by a bus.
 So, don't wait for the future. It's all hit or miss.
 Kid, it doesn't get better than this.
 Oh, No! Don't count your troubles. Things may take a turn for the worse.
 Life keeps sticking you up, till' they're picking you up in a hearse. Oh, Nurse!
 My uncle wore raincoats though it never rained.
 He showed off the lining, till' someone complained.
 When he got arrested, he said: "What the hell!"
 And he wrote me this note from his cell:
 "Ohhh, the... future looked grim when the judge gave me life,
 But I've hung up my raincoat 'cause I found a wife.
 Yes, Herman and I live in pure wedded bliss.
 Kid, it doesn't get better than this."
 Sooo, your... future looks bleak and you can't find your smile.
 Baby, life's just a joke, why not laugh for a while?
 Now, how 'bout a hug? Give your old man a kiss!
 [Tracy:] [Spoken-] "Daddy..."
 'Cause it doesn't get better than this.
 No, it doesn't... get better... than this...