Stripper Vicar

(Letter)
 (Compelled to write this letter)
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 Dear Mavis, I'm compelled to write this letter
 In the hope that you may soon be getting better
 I've a feeling you should go and see a doctor
 If you haven't then you know you really oughta
 I was worried, so I went to see the vicar
 But before I could confess, he first confessed to be a stripper
 Dear Mavis, it was very strange to see him
 So I thought I'd write and ask for your opinion
 Should I grass on him, report him to the cardinal?
 Or whether I should egg him on to turn professional?
 If I dob on him, they'll call him plastic scouser
 But the only thing the stripper vicar wears is plastic trousers
 Mavis' opinion
 All we really seek
 Mavis' opinion
 All we
 Should we lie, while he's still alive?
 Should we lie, while he's still alive?
 'Cause when the vicar strips, he gets away with it
 Dear Mavis, thought I'd follow up my letter
 Drop a line about the fate of our poor vicar
 Very tragically his time on Earth is ended
 Found him gagged and bound in stockings and suspenders
 Dear Mavis, if you tell us what your thoughts are
 And I hope that they're not biased
 'Cause you are the vicar's daughter
 Mavis' opinion
 All we really seek
 Mavis' opinion
 All we
 Should we lie, now that he has died?
 Should we lie, now that he has died?
 'Cause when the vicar strips, he gets away with it
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 (And we know him as our vicar)
 (And by night a part-time stripper)
 (And our vicar got suspended)
 (In his stockings and suspenders)
 (And he's making wine from water)
 (While he dresses like his daughter)
 (And we know that he's a rip off)
 ('Cause we've seen him with his kit off)
 Should we lie, now that he has died? (And we know him as our vicar, and by night a part-time stripper, and our vicar got suspended, in his stockings and suspenders)
 Should we lie, now that he has died? (And he's making wine from water, while he dresses like his daughter, and we know that he's a rip off, 'cause we've seen him with his kit off)
 'Cause when the vicar strips, he gets away with it