Thank God I'm a Man

A man should call the toss
 Wear the pants, and be the boss
 A man should be the drink
 For his own damn sake
 And men should the misters
 And the masters of their sisters
 A man should be the reason
 For a heart to break
 A man should cut the lawn
 Change the tire, mend the worn
 A man should never wait
 To oil a rusting gate
 Men should hold the key positions
 In our country's great traditions
 A man should put the food
 Upon the family plate
 So, be moral
 Don't quarrel
 Fair and square is best
 Let me alert you
 That virtue won't hurt you
 Or desert you
 If you wear hair on your chest
 So always remember to follow the rules
 Box clever
 And jocks never
 Hock another jock's tools
 A man should wax a car
 Fix a fuse, and tend the bar
 A man should like his brow
 To be wet with sweat
 Men should know the right occasions
 To indulge in tax evasions
 A man should know the settings
 That his spark plugs get
 Faggots are maggots
 Thank God I'm a man