The Day Off

If the head was smaller
 If the tail were longer
 If he faced the water
 If the paws were hidden
 If the neck was darker
 If the back was curved
 More like the parasol
 Bum bum bum
 Bum bum bum bum bum bum
 More shade
 More tail
 More grass!
 Would you like some more grass?
 Hmmm
 Ruff! Ruff!
 Thanks, the week has been rough!
 When you're stuck for life on a garbage scow
 Only forty feet long from stern to prow
 And a crackpot in the bow-wow, rough!
 The planks are rough
 And the wind is rough
 And the master's drunk and mean and-
 Grrrruff! Gruff!
 With the fish and scum
 And planks and ballast-
 The nose gets numb
 And the paws get callused
 And with splinters in your ass
 You look forward to the grass
 On Sunday
 The day off
 Off! Off! Off!
 Off!
 The grass needs to be thicker Perhaps a few weeds
 And some ants. if you would
 I love fresh ants
 Roaming around on Sunday
 Poking among the roots and rocks
 Nose to the ground on Sunday
 Studying all the shoes and socks
 Everything's worth it Sunday
 The day off
 Bits of pastry
 Piece of chicken
 Here's a handkerchief
 That somebody was sick in
 There's a thistle
 That's a shallot
 That's a dripping
 From the loony with the palette
 Yap! Yap!
 ♪
 Yap!
 Out for the day on Sunday
 Off of my lady's lap at last
 Yapping away on Sunday
 Helps you forget the week just past-
 Yap!
 Everything's worth it Sunday
 The day off
 Yap!
 Stuck all week on a lady's lap
 Nothing to do but yawn and nap
 Can you blame me if I yap?
 Nope
 There's only so much attention a dog can take
 Being alone on Sunday
 Rolling around in mud and dirt-
 Begging a bone on Sunday
 Settling for a spoiled dessert-
 Everything's worth it
 Sunday
 The day off
 Something fuzzy
 Something furry
 Something pink
 That someone tore off in a hurry
 What's the muddle
 In the middle?
 That's the puddle
 Where the poodle did the piddle
 Taking the day on Sunday
 Now that the dreary week is dead
 Getting away on Sunday
 Brightens the dreary week ahead
 Everyone's on display on Sunday-
 The day off!
 Bonnet flapping
 Bustle sliding
 Like a rocking horse that nobody's been riding
 There's a daisy-
 And some clover-
 And that interesting fellow looking over
 Nurse!
 One day is much like any other
 Listening to her snap and drone
 Still, Sunday with someone's dotty mother
 Is better then Sunday with your own
 Mothers may drone, mothers may whine-
 Tending to his, though, is perfectly fine
 It pays for the nurse that is tending to mine
 On Sunday
 My day off
 You know, Franz-I believe that artist is drawing us
 Who?
 Monsieur's friend
 Monsieur would never think to draw us! We are only people he looks down upon
 Second bottle
 Ah, she looks for me
 He is bursting to go
 Near the fountain
 I could let him
 How to manage it-?
 No
 I should have been an artist. I was never intended for work
 Artists work, Franz. I believe they work very hard
 Work!
 We work
 We serve their food
 We carve their meat
 We tend to their house
 We polish their
 Silverware
 The food we serve
 We also eat
 For them we rush
 Wash and brush
 Wipe and wax
 Franz, relax
 While he "creates"
 We scrpe their plates
 And dust their knickknacks
 Hundreds to the shelf
 Work is what you do for others, Liebchen
 Art is what you do for yourself
 Look
 ♪
 Where?
 Soldiers
 Alone
 What do you think?
 I like the one in the light hat
 Mademoiselles
 I and my friend
 We are but soldiers!
 Passing the time
 In between wars
 For weeks at an end
 Both of them are perfect
 You can have the other
 I don't want the other
 I don't want the other either
 And after a week
 Spent mostly indoors
 With nothing but soldiers
 Ladies, I and my friend
 Trust we will not offend
 Which we'd never intend
 By suggesting we spend-
 Oh, spend-
 This magnificent Sunday-
 Oh, Sunday-
 With you and your friend
 
 The one on the right's an awful bore
 He's been in a war
 We may get a meal and we might get more
 It's certainly fine for Sunday
 It's certainly fine for Sunday
 It's certainly fine for Sunday
 You and me, pal
 We're the loonies
 Did you know that?
 Bet you didn't know that
 'Cause we tell them the truth!
 Who you drawing?
 Who the hell you think you're drawing?
 Me?
 You don't know me!
 Go on drawing
 Since you're drawing only what you want to see
 Anyway!
 One eye, no illusion
 That you get with two
 One for what is true
 One for what suits you
 Draw your wrong conclusion
 All you artists do
 I see what is true
 Taking the day on Sunday
 After another week is dead
 Nurse!
 Getting away on Sunday
 Brightens the dreary week ahead
 Nurse!
 Leaving the city pressure
 Behind you
 Off where the air is fresher
 Where green, blue blind you