My Fondest Childhood Memories

When I waste ten I had a live-in babysitter
 She had a pet kangaroo
 Wore big breasts and feathers
 She gave me ice cream every time I screamed and hollered
 And I loved her 'til I
 Caught her sexing with my father
 She gonna hurt you daddy, never again
 She wasn't a friend
 So, I killed her
 She gonna hurt you daddy, never again
 She wasn't a friend
 So, I killed her
 When I was 13 the plumber stopped by
 The house was flooding
 And no one knew why
 Within no time at all he got rid of the water
 And I was grateful
 'Til I caught him plunging my mother
 He gonna hurt you momma never again
 He wasn't a friend
 So, I killed him
 He gonna hurt you momma, never again
 He wasn't a friend
 So, I killed him
 He gonna hurt your momma, never again
 He wasn't a friend
 So, I killed him
 And I don't feel bad about it
 Say what?
 And I don't feel bad about it
 These are my fondest childhood memories
 And I, I was just a kid
 So, they let me go despite the murders that I did
 All grown up now as you can see
 My parents are still happily married
 Thanks to me
 She gonna hurt you daddy, never again (never again)
 She wasn't a friend
 So, I killed her (never again)
 She gonna hurt you daddy, never again
 She wasn't a friend
 So, I killed her
 He gonna hurt you momma, never again (never again)
 He wasn't a friend (she ain't gonna hurt you, daddy)
 So, I killed him
 He gonna hurt you momma, never again (so, I killed him)
 He wasn't a friend (hey, hey)
 So, I killed him
 These are my fondest childhood memories