Drinking Song

Drunk men stagger, drunk men fall
 Drunk men swear and that's not all
 Quite often they will urinate outdoors
 Like widowed women, drunk men weep
 Like children curled up, drunk men sleep
 Like a dog, a drunk will crawl around on all fours
 Be he broke bum or rich rake
 His dinner be it bread or cake
 His beverage be the worse of whiskey, finest wine
 Puke it stinks and so it seems
 That drunkards go to great extremes
 But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line
 Drunks talk strong when drunks are weak
 It's easy for a drunk to speak
 Straight from the heart
 Yeah, drunks will fight they're not afraid
 To kiss the mistress and make the maid
 It's a manly art
 Oh but big toll will take
 Blood vessels in nose will break
 Bags beneath the eyes, another sign
 Drunks get ugly, so it seems
 That drunkards go to great extremes
 But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line
 Drunks are friendly when they're drunk and
 Drunks are hostile when they're drunk
 Which drunk it is, it all depends upon
 When drunks aren't drunk, they thirst for drink
 And the elephants are grey, not pink
 And the drink evaporates the man is gone, gone, gone, gone
 Back to the yachts and the subway cars
 To the hip-flasks and fruit jars
 Flat on the face and flat on the behind
 Oh, drunks get drunk and so it seems
 That drunkards go to great extremes
 But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line
 Straight line
 Straight line