Three Nights Drunk

[one, two, three!]
 The first night that I come home
 So drunk I could not see
 Found a horse in my stable
 Where my horse oughta be
 Come here my little wifey
 Explain this thing to me
 How come a horse in the stable
 Where my horse oughta be?
 You blind fool, you crazy fool
 Can't you never see?
 It's only a milkcow
 You're granny sent to me
 I've traveled this world over
 Ten thousand miles or more
 But a saddle upon a milkcow's back
 I never did see before
 The second night that I come home
 So drunk I could not see
 Found a coat a-hanging on the rack
 Where my coat oughta be
 Come here my little wifey
 Explain this thing to me
 How come a coat a hanging a hanging on the rack
 Where my coat oughta be?
 You blind fool, you crazy fool
 Can't you never see?
 It's only a bedquilt
 You're granny sent to me
 I've traveled this world over
 Ten thousand miles or more
 Pockets upon a bedquilt
 I never did see before
 The third night that I come home
 So drunk I could not see
 Found a head a-laying on the pillow
 Where my head oughta be
 Come here my little wifey
 Explain this thing to me
 How come a head a-laying on the pillow
 Where my head oughta be?
 You blind fool, you crazy fool
 Can't you never see?
 It's only a cabbage head
 You're granny sent to me
 I've traveled this world over
 Ten thousand miles or more
 But a moustache on a cabbage head
 I never did see before