The Best Of All Possible Worlds

I was runnin' through the summer rain
 Tryin' to catch the evenin' train
 An' kill that old familiar pain
 Weavin' through my tangled brain
 But when I tipped my bottle back
 I smacked into a cop I didn't see
 That policeman said, "Mister Cool
 If you ain't drunk, then you're a fool"
 I said, "If that's against the law
 Then tell me why I never saw
 A man locked in that jail of yours
 Who wasn't just as low down poor as me?
 Well, that was when someone turned out the lights
 An' I wound up in jail to spend the night
 An' dream of all the wine an' lonely girls
 In this best of all possible worlds
 Well, I woke up next mornin'
 Feelin' like my head was gone
 An' like my thick old tongue was lickin'
 Something sick an' wrong
 An' I told that man I'd sell my soul
 For somethin' wet an' cold as that old cell
 That kindly jailer grinned at me
 All eaten up with sympathy
 Then poured he self another beer
 An' came an' whispered in my ear
 "If booze was just a dime a bottle, boy
 You couldn't even buy the smell"
 I said, "I knew there was somethin' I liked about this town
 But it takes more than that to bring me down, down, down
 'Cause there's still a lot of wine an' lonely girls
 In this best of all possible worlds?
 Well, they finally came an' told me
 They was a gonna set me free
 An' I'd be leavin' town
 If I knew what was good for me
 I said, "It's nice to learn
 that everybody's so concerned about my health"
 I said, "I won't be leavin' no more
 Quicker than I can
 'Cause I've enjoyed about as much
 Of this as I can stand
 An' I don't need this town of yours
 More than I never needed nothin' else"
 'Cause there's still a lot of drinks that I ain't drunk
 An' lots of pretty thoughts that I ain't thunk
 An' Lord, there's still so many lonely girls
 In this best of all possible worlds