Jeanette's Showbiz Number

This gig's an echo of that time with Buddy Greco
 When we did the Desert Inn in '59
 The dancing girls were clunky
 The drummer was a junkie
 But we pulled the act together
 And we killed 'em every time
 That having been said, frankly
 I think that things are worse here
 That guy and his head are gonna need
 Some kind of nurse here
 It's like a friggin' curse here
 Things could be better -
 So sue me, it's the truth
 Things could be better 'round here
 It's an attitude problem
 Seen it a million times
 I was subbing with Stan Kenton
 In this seedy club in Trenton
 When I heard my third divorce
 Had just gone through
 I coulda torn my heart out
 But instead I got my chart out
 And I gave 'em all a lesson
 In the way to play the blues
 That having been said
 Something is even more morose here
 Just looking ahead's making me feel
 Real gross here
 We aren't even close here
 Things could be better
 Could they get any worse? I don't think so
 Things could be better 'round here
 It's like a putz museum
 A showbiz mausoleum
 Things could be better 'round here
 There's a problem with the timing
 There's a problem with the groove
 There's an overwhelming lethargy
 Nothing can improve
 You can sense defeat get closer
 Every time they add a move
 There's only six days
 Where am I? Don't worry, I'll get it
 Who are you?
 This guy needs a helmet
 That guy needs some lipo
 And I could use some Geritol delivered in a hypo
 But I don't wanna gripe -
 Oh -
 Things could be better
 You bet your ass they could
 Things could be better 'round here
 Now let me just tell you something
 I've played for hoofers who can't hoof
 I've played for tone-deaf singers
 And once, when I insulted Frank
 I played with broken fingers
 I've paid my dues
 I know the blues -
 Of this I can assure you
 So now I'll say it one last time
 'Cause I don't want to bore you
 I've got some bad news for you
 Things could be better
 Things could be better
 They really could be better
 Let's face it, we suck
 We're deep down in the ditch, man
 This showbiz is a bitch, man
 Things could be better
 We could be better
 Things could be better 'round -
 You know what Kate Smith used to say about a bad rehearsal?
 Usually means a bad performance
 Here!