Arthur in the Afternoon

*Everyone's noticed the change in me
 The heartening startling change in me
 No longer depressed, i'm looking my best
 And I'm totally in control.
 Though grim and obsessively sad was I
 And never organically glad was I
 Now life is the berries and cherries invaded my bowl!
 Harvey and the children are relieved
 My girlfriends say I'm not to be believed
 And the secrent isn't not diet drugs or pills
 I've simply found a new routine to banish
 All my ills...
 ♪
 I have my coffee in the morning
 My brandy in the evening
 And Arthur in the afternoon
 ♪
 Don't have any grey days
 Since i've my matinee days
 With Arthur in the afternoon
 He has a small apartment in the center of town
 I'd hardly say it was posh
 But I gun my Hundai and I hurry on down
 To hear the banidster squeak and the waterbed slosh
 Oh you can keep your crystal
 To heat up someone's pistol
 Cause this kid's ids in tune
 Because she's got Arthur
 That's right I said Arthur
 There's nothing like Arthur in the afternoon!
 ♪
 I've read Shirley McLaine dear
 But found all that a pain dear
 I've rather have Arthur in the afternoon
 They say that love is better with the stars in the sky
 But not for Arthur and me
 We start loving when the sun is high
 From a quarter to two to a quarter to three
 So don't sit there and glower
 Just pick another hour
 For your round trip to the moon
 You've got to try Arthur
 He's listed as Arthur
 I recommend Arthur in the afternoon!
 ♪
 Hello Arthur
 I've got a little headache
 All my nerves are worn a little thin
 I was wondering if you had an opening
 And if you did, well, could you squeeze me in?
 You do!
 A quarter to two!
 Well i'm all ready to go to town
 I'm gonna rev my motor and get on down!
 ♪
 So get your shopping cart out
 And go Safeway your heart out
 But there's no sun sweet prune
 As healthy as Arthur
 Oh, that animal Arthur!
 I've been bitten by Arthur in the Afternoon!