Tom Cruise Crazy

Tom Cruise is so in love with Katie
 At least all his people tell him so
 And while he thinks that she's a very special lady
 It's probably not the way he'd choose to go
 But a lifetime of longing looks would cause too much distraction
 Good thing that he's not gay anymore
 Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
 Just be glad it's him, not you
 If you had Tom Cruise's troubles
 You might be Tom Cruise crazy too
 You'd flash your big white shiny smile
 You'd buy expensive shoes
 But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no
 You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise
 Tom Cruise is always getting older
 He knows he'll never be that young again
 And when Tom Cruise looks back over his shoulder
 He sees a thousand younger leading men
 And he knows someday he'll have to play
 An old, retarded grandpa
 While someone younger plays his sexy son
 Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
 Just be glad it's him, not you
 If you had Tom Cruise's troubles
 You might be Tom Cruise crazy too
 You'd flash your big white shiny smile
 You'd buy expensive shoes
 But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no
 You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise
 Tom Cruise hopes somewhere there's a place for him
 'Cause he's not of this world anymore
 Somewhere in some secluded castle
 Poor Tom Cruise sits staring at the wall
 And the outside world is always such a hassle
 Sometimes he won't go out at all
 There are millions who know his name
 Everybody loves him
 Why is it that he feels so alone?
 Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
 Just be glad it's him, not you
 If you had Tom Cruise's troubles
 You might be Tom Cruise crazy too
 You'd flash your big white shiny smile
 You'd buy expensive shoes
 But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no
 You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise