Christmas Is Interesting

You have put on your feety pajamas
 It's time for a long winter's nap
 There's a knock on the door and a stranger is there
 He wants you to sit on his lap
 He takes your watch and he gives you a hairbrush
 Your wife gets a wig on a chain
 He says he can't stay 'cause he's got a long way to go
 And it's starting to rain
 Christmas is interesting
 Like a knife in your heart
 Christmas is interesting
 How it tears you apart
 Christmas is interesting
 Like a stick in your eye
 It's so freaking interesting
 That it might make you cry
 So, you're an elf, but you'd rather be a dentist
 Maybe you're a train with square wheels
 Maybe you're a squirt gun that only shoots jam
 Now you know how Jesus feels
 He is riding a sleigh he calls Rosebud
 His mansion is lonely and cold
 He can't remember a pleasant December
 When he wasn't tired and old
 Christmas is interesting
 Like a knife in your heart
 Christmas is interesting
 How it tears you apart
 Christmas is interesting
 Like a stick in your eye
 It's so freaking interesting
 That it might make you cry
 So, you're drunk, and your name is Jimmy Stewart
 You once had a wonderful life
 Then you lost all your money, you cracked up your car
 You yelled at your favorite wife
 You go to bed and you wait for Jacob Marley
 And he comes to make you feel brave
 But under his cloak he is nothing but smoke
 And a finger that points at your grave
 Christmas is interesting
 Like a knife in your heart
 Christmas is interesting
 How it tears you apart
 Christmas is interesting
 Like a stick in your eye
 It's so freaking interesting
 That it might make you cry