The Day My Pad Went Mad

I'm ankle deep in human waste
 The toilet has been clogged
 Marrowbone jelly all over the place
 I don't even have a dog
 The man upstairs he grabs my arm
 Saying don't I know your dad
 All I could hear were the fire alarms
 The day my pad went mad
 All I could hear were the fire alarms
 The day my pad went mad
 The kitchen has been ransacked
 Ski trails in the hall
 A chicken has been dhansaked
 And thrown against the wall
 In walks this dumb waiter
 With a fountain pen and pad
 Saying how do you want this alligator
 The day my pad went mad
 Saying how do you want this alligator
 The day my pad went mad
 The hamster had been slaugtered
 The parrot bound and gagged
 The guard dog had been sorted out
 And absolutely shagged
 The goldfish drowned, the cat was found
 Kicked around and stabbed
 The radio did not make a sound
 The day my pad went mad
 The radio did not make a sound
 The day my pad went mad
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 The pop-up toaster refused to pop
 The chandelier was smashed
 The starter motor would not stop
 The tyres had been slashed
 There was no way out of there
 I was stuck with what I had
 Out of order, beyond repair
 The day my pad went mad
 Out of order, beyond repair
 The day my pad went mad
 Yesterday I had the place rewired
 And slung out all of my junk
 A tumble dryer and a two bar fire
 And a telephone now defunct
 I peeped through the venetian blinds
 And the rain fell down so sad
 On the broken home I left behind
 The day my pad went mad
 On the broken home I left behind
 The day my pad went mad