All Aboard

All aboard!
 Hades Express!
 Non-stop,
 Just a short hop
 To the bottomless pit --
 This is it!
 Club Dead
 Straight ahead.
 Bring your shroud,
 No coffins allowed --
 There's too big a crowd.
 But if you're a stiff,
 Then get in the skiff
 And we're off to Perdition.
 And wait till you see Perdition:
 You think you know dank?
 Hoo, boy.
 You think you know dismal?
 Sheesh, forget it.
 Talk about dark,
 talk about dreary,
 What you think is dreary
 Is what we call cheery
 Down here.
 All aboard!
 No delay
 Long as you're D.O.A.
 If you fall off the perch,
 If you buy the farm,
 Kick the bucket,
 Bite the dust,
 If you're pushing up daisies,
 Truck on down
 And when I say down,
 I mean down...
 All aboard!
 Get your kicks
 On the River Styx...