Useless But Important Information

I've got some useless but important information
 Got a hot tip on a Philly in the third
 Skyping with a pretty girl who lives halfway around the world
 Won't be long 'til everybody's heard
 I have sworn and I cannot reveal my sources
 I can tell you though, that it's not Nancy Grace
 I've been forced to change my plans, won't be travelin' to Sudan
 My destination could be outer space
 Where am I bound, it don't matter
 Pocket dialing halfway 'cross the nation
 What do I hear? Mindless chatter
 All this useless and important information
 There are camera crews for blocks outside her trailer
 The whole thing's going viral as we sing
 Are they fake or are they real, looks like her boyfriend cut a deal
 She'll be dancing with the stars before the spring
 You see, she spent her whole Katrina check on implants
 Crisis over destiny fulfilled
 Blue tarp or silicone, either way the money's gone
 I guess there's more than one way to rebuild
 Who really cares? Trillion twitter
 I can't comprehend the titillation
 Breakin' news, world's in the shitter
 Covering useless and important information
 Gold starts out in the ground 'til very clever men
 Dig it up and weigh it, they they bury it again
 Mostly comes from Africa and ends up in Fort Knox
 Only gets its value from the guards and chains and locks
 Pretty rocks
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 Where am I bound? It don't matter
 Pocket dialing halfway 'cross the nation
 What do I hear? Mindless chatter
 All this useless and important information
 Where am I bound, it don't matter
 Whole world's now viewed with car wreck fascination
 If I were you, I'd just keep driving
 Past all this useless and important information
 All this useless and important information
 Useless
 Important!
 Useless