Redneck 12 Days of Christmas

Somebody done been to the wal*mart
 Man this is the stuff I got for christmas
 You cleaned up, what you get?
 Five flanel shirts
 Four big mud tires
 Three shot gun shells
 Two huntin' dogs
 And some parts to a Mustange G.T
 You fool! You got jipped! thar's twelve days of Christmas!
 I know that look over there in the corner
 Thats yours too?
 Yeah
 Twelve pack a bud
 Elevin wrastlin' tickets
 Ten acopenhagen
 Nine years probation
 Eight table dancers
 Seven packs of redman
 Six cans of spam
 Five flanel shirts
 Four big mud tires
 Three shot gun shells
 Two huntin' dogs
 And some parts to a Mustange G.T
 Man these aint normal Christmas presents!
 Naw they redneck gifts
 Redneck gifts?
 Yeah, like when you buy your wife earrings that double as fishen luers, or if you can burp the entire chorus of jingle bells, or if you think the nutcracker is something you did off the high dive, or if you've ever miss spelled anything in christmas lights, or if you leave cold beer and pickeled eggs for santa clause.
 Whats wrong with that?
 I didnt say anything was wrong with it, its hard to beat
 Twelve pack a bud
 Elevin wrastlin' tickets
 Ten acopenhagen
 Nine years probation
 Eight table dancers
 Seven packs of redman
 Six cans of spam
 Five flanel shirts
 Four big mud tires
 Three shot gun shells
 Two huntin' dogs
 And some parts to a Mustange G.T
 Well you know you cant consider it a Christmas unless you go down to the penitenturary and visit your momma.
 You're not listenin' to me get the car key out of your ear, that where the nine years probation comes in. im a do it for you again, now listen
 Twelve pack a bud
 Elevin wrastlin' tickets
 Ten acopenhagen
 Nine years probation
 Eight table dancers
 Seven packs of redman
 Six cans of spam
 Five flanel shirts
 Four big mud tires
 Three shot gun shells
 Two huntin' dogs
 And some parts to a Mustange G.T
 Are you cryin'?
 naw just my allergies
 Happy Holidays everybody