This is Tuesday August 28th 1984/
And 40 months later Dad's exit out the front door/
This is where she drew the line, he wouldn't hit her anymore/It's food stamps & welfare, the poorest of the poor/You 'll never make it and you won't last long/This is the fight she found so she could prove him wrong/Night jobs & nursing school to feed me & my brother/This tha strength of my mother that astounded all the others/
It's elemental middle school circa 1990/Picked last, back of the class is where you'll find me/Awkward, immature in the corner always crying/Never seemed to fit in, though I was always trying
Best friend in highschool, closest no exception/Last name "by everyone" first name "rejection"/Hate myself so much, wish moms had used the contraception/
All State & Who's Who just to gain acceptance
And when I thought I had it, is when it slipped away/
So now I'm searching for it, in words that others say/And thoughts that others think, it really wasn't useful/
I became addicted, high off of their approval
I don't have a problem & I think I'm fine/But when I'm searching for fulfillment never seem to find/Peace and good news I always seem to boast about/But when the mask is off it seems that I can live without
This is a human being brutally honest/About the pain, growth, & progress of the pain & growth process/It's a few wins, but it's more losses/funny how I pictured it, call me negrodamus
This is older now healed wounds & picked scabs/Decorated vet bruised cheeks and back stabs/what didn't kill me & anything that nearly did/It's love and love lost and & all the love I have to give
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is a different outlook, a different point of view/Behind the scenes take of everything I went through/this is you steppin' in when my dad stepped out/With you as my Step-Dad the hope never ran out/
You had a lot of names, moms called you Jireh/so in the midst of poverty we knew you as provider/And this was the strength that you bottled up inside her/Water in her veins when she walked thorough the fire
/Everyday at school you sat right beside me/Picked me for your team when other kids didn't like me/Before me it seems my rejection you knew first/Only way that you could understand this hurt/
Reason why words from others simply wouldn't do/'Cuz what I sought from them are words I should have got from you/When I was fiendin' for their choice I should have thought of you/Chose me for who I was not just for what I could do
/Never coulda earned it with all my awards/My works wouldn't work 'cuz I couldn't work towards/The love you freely gave something I couldn't work for/So trying to achieve it wouldn't work anymore/
You were my Betty Ford, you broke my addiction/Put me on the real so I could kill the contradiction/Nurtured in my growth, healed me in my pain/And you allowed it all so I could never be the same
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is peace in the midst of everything gone wrong/
This is letting go, this is holding on/This is in your timing when I'm asking how long/My soul being restored this is my 23rd Psalm
The most perfect picture of imperfection/Framed with Devine affection from a heavenly obsession/Kingdom now within my reach that my mind has changed direction/Eyes to see, ears to hear now I have your perception/
Demise of my pride, birth of humility/Daily death sentence so this is me killing me/Every last ounce of me till there's nothing left/When only you remain that's when it's life after death
This is my relationship an upgrade from religion/This is how you showed me love was commitment and decision/This is when I'm at my worst drowning in distress/This is when your hard at work, this is when you shine the best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/
I am at my worst, I AM at His best